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Testing the Waters

by Cutesylvania

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1.
2.
I ducked under the white block for 3 years With people telling me I didn’t need to be here They say music’s changed, people don’t wanna hear Songs about video games well I'm gonna Change that, time to come out of the cave Step up to the plate, live up to the name At dawn the lines are drawn, we're taking what’s ours… Hello my name’s Steffo, nice to meet you nice to see you Here’s my story I make music, and it sucks but I still do it People ask me why I bothered, said my stuff just sounded awkward So I disappeared forever, never saw me then it happened so I Practiced, honed my skills, and now I’m back Dropping everything I’ve got at the drop of a hat Not stoppin’ a rap ‘till I run outta breathe Or I touch death, but I’ve still got five guys left Big bucks, big bucks, no whammys, stop the madness drop the panties Drop the bombs Dodongo style, blow the wall up, crack a tile Picto-chatting while I rap, you ask me where, I draw a map And if you end up getting lost, just listen for the sound of awesome(yep) Open up your Game Boys, get your DS Hold ‘em up like torches, and pound your chest We’ll get the silver surfboard and the A-Team van Do a Michael J. Fox Teen Wolf handstand Like Jean Grey comin’ back from the grave Blown away at the fact that I won’t decay It’s been a long time and I’m ready to come back The same guy, different day, been there, done that So turn on your Caps Lock, yell to your heart’s content Make your words fly like Clark Kent It’s celebratory music Like you just found an item and used it Like you looked at every challenge in the world at once And just said screw it!
3.
Crazy Japanese ass kick-tastic Music rocking faces with my Music rocking ladies with my Blatent lack of talent Give your ears a music seizure THX-1138 theatre Side effects may include loving your favorite Band just a little bit less though… Go to Burger King in a Spider-Man costume Chillin’ in the Playplace, hidin’ in the ballroom Cuter than a puppy riding on a Pokémon Playin’ my ditties when you get your game on Nothing comes close, not before or after Impossible that I’d get much faster All of your basement are belong to us Just take it like a man sir. Paper, scissors, rock you Like a candy cane otaku Make a joke you laugh your arse off Break it down and dance like Karnov Action Jackson doing what he has to Never been a has-been always been a bad dude Punch the monkey, win an iPod Threw in a ninja, just for kicks Go to Micky D’s to get a Quarter Pounder Fatty in the line no way to get around her Take it as it is, or take it as it would be A futuristic vision dishin’ out another goodie Let’s take a look-see you’ll never understand us Jackie Chan’d us in the gut with your sandals The jerk store called, they’re runnin’ out of you But me, they’ve got free samples. More bad ass (more bad ass) Than Bob Ross (than Bob Ross) Playin’ Okami (Playin’ Okami) With the lights off (with the lights off) I’ve got a broadsword (I’ve got a broadsword) And I’m ready to pounce (and I’m ready to pounce) ‘Cause all your basement (all your basement) Are mine now (are mine now!)
4.
Why do you say a female can’t rap? No, wait, you’re not about to start to rhyme that The power of 7-Up Plus compels you Tells you to get the hell out of the men’s room Look, we’ve been through heaven and hell and boss battles Played Circus Atari and wore down the paddles Wore down the amp, snap pop and crackle Grabbed the side, stage dived, and got tackled Now I’m not about to be overstaged By an estrogen rebellion with hot pink grenades With a pink lemonade and a pink flashlight That you made with a Doom 3 mod last night Look, girls don’t rap over game music “You just don’t do it” See? You just don’t do it Tryin’ for 8, but all you got was two bit Just stick to rhythms with kittens and tulips So sorry princess but your gonna have to go to another castle And I don’t have the time to hassle with a battle And I’ll bet that you wanna get your rap on But I know that you don’t have another tampon It must be that time of the month ‘cause all I’m hearin’ is Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Your Bath & Body lady-lotion’s gunkin’ up the buttons So go play Spyro the Dragon or somethin’ “She’s just a girl, it’s just not fair” But when you get one of MPFM, you can’t compare You might be Nerdcore, but you can’t go up against The likes of MPFM, we are the best I’ll trash you, smash you, DDR dance you Track & Meet run past you, but not because I have to +20 Double-handed axe moves Gonna fight, jump, kick, spin-attack moves With a Y chromosome you lack moves For example, stand up while you’re going to the bathroom Girls don’t rap over game music “You just don’t do it” See? You just don’t do it You think you’re well-suited for the occasion Without bruises or abrasions, now prove it I’m waitin’! Yeah, Fuck you. Heh heh you wanna do this? Alright here we go. Oh, so you think you wanna battle me holmes? I come from the double X chromosomes You can’t beat the best The emcee with the set of breasts C’mon silly boy, I’m sittin’ at my desk This chick will pass your test What the fuck you better duck Add some points to your luck I don’t see you levelin’ Just fucking meddlin’ Waitin’ for your clan And here they come peddlin’ That’s what you call a man? Need your buddies on hand ‘Cause you cant fuckin’ handle it My spitting skills are excellent With all my points up in one spot I’m still excelling it My spits are too hott So go on take a shot I’ll knock you to the sky, boy you’ll never be as high Mother shoulda named me melee, attacking your shit daily Try me, a lady I just might be But my rapping skills are mighty Just ask fuckin’ YT (yodel at me dawg) He’s got nerd love with this DG (Oh shit, I’m leveling!) But Router that’s me, can’t stop this mc A lady with a V-A-G-I-N-A Come’re little man, I’ll show you how to play This lady can out-rap you any fucking day And yes, I pack the sword that stacks Numbers don’t go as high as my stats So go on, relax, ‘cause a girl just won Get in the kitchen, and cook me up somethin’ We can get to humpin’, that Power Glove is bumpin’ A new breed, when I bleed, now this shit is jumpin’ Gotta pop my lock, tougher than you thought But boys got the cocks, and that shit, it fuckin’ rocks And my girl part is hidden, just call it XBOX I ain’t got a joystick, but you bet I have Wii You say I cant rap ‘cause im a lady emcee? Nerd please.
5.
YES! I get a new Mega Man suit With souped up lights and a Frisbee to boot And they’ve got what? An electric cattle prod bring it on Me and Tron can see ‘em comin’ (runnin’) with the lights on Fight’s on unidentified flying diskette It’s an identity disk, take THAT ya chess set Best that, you stay away, from me and my bike Shooting laser walls from the tailpipe But really, who do you calculate you are anyway? You want games? Fine! Alright! I’ll give you games I’ve got group 7 access Plain and simple, you need a little help You haven’t built a circuit that can hold me Me? I can merge with a memory bit A master computer can’t handle a user So please send out every tank in the grid It’s the team you didn’t expect With the Blue Light Special M-P-F-M and Tron Rock another level of digital badass with the Blue Light Special BOOM Luminaire two in the air Blue Light Special-attack it’s a killer app Harder than the hardest of metals…it’s a Blue Light Special I don’t have an army but I really don’t need one Since this is my work it just feels like a rerun Rerun, reboot, refile, we’ll get the source code Audio blaring binary Morse code Throw out an explosive warning, storming the gates You made a mistake, you sealed your fate Take it or leave it, I suggest you get a pop-up blocker If you don’t, I suggest you get a very good doctor I’ve got a list of commands that will TAB your FUNCTION SHIFT your CTRL, short circuit a munchkin I’m a walking glowstick and I’m takin’ a trip To kick digital ass, take names, and rock a bit My motherboard’s cooled by alcohol content Screaming obscene illegitimate nonsense Just do me a favor here It’s an eleven step pier with a twelve step process A jukebox hero, a pinball wizard Concieved what they believed to be a winner Taken to the game arena With an orange and a bottle of Aqua-fina I just need to get this disk where it needs to be And I don’t remember this part of Kingdom Hearts And I only played a little bit of 2.0 So I never got past the start If it’s a game then play, pull the pin out like so It might glow, it might be a little bright though Pixelated explosions motion Generated no waitin’ lasers to the face To the feet to the part of your brain that’s important The virtual cortex portion No matter how good you play You were made that way I’m flesh and bone for the win
6.
7.
Robit 02:34
Turn on the ‘on’ switch, I’m missing a few pieces It doesn’t look like the box, but it’s decent Do I need this? It says it’s important so I’ll keep it The instructions aren’t though, so I won’t read it Pro-tip: Let your Robit charge for an hour That way you get the recommended full power Aww screw it 3½ percent should suffice Now let’s get drunk and start a fight Gonna win that Robit contest Gonna outwit all the other nonsense Gonna get more photos than Loch Ness (8x10 glossys will be sold at the door) My Robit takes the cake and eats it It’s got an outfit for every season It killed a bug one time you should’ve seen it Wait! What do you have? I bet it’s not a Robit (robot) Robit (robot) That crater right there your house? Don’t put it there. Robit (robot) Robit (robot) You’ve got an iPod, laptop, GPS RSS technology, friend requests But we’ve got a giant frikkin’ Robit (robot) Robit (porcupine) [sentence item: ’porcupine’ does not compute sir] Yeah, we’ve got one of those too, but it doesn’t really help us in the way that we’d like. [rock this out sir]… [I love you] What can your Robit do that mine can’t? Time lapse. I went back in time to rhyme that Deadly and bitchin’ is what comes to mind But hey guess what? One of a kind! A katamari made of 48 Furbys and FX lightsabers Duct-taped to an old boat with lasers Fueled by Yager, spittin’ out Bagel Bites With camouflage glued to dynamite! And T-Rex heads with missle teeth A squirrel with a sonic screech Hungry-Hungry Hippo feet Rollover minutes and the texts are free on the weekends You say “Death Machine” like it’s a bad thing Quit runnin, you’re interrupting my rap thing Turn on the NES controller boombox Blaring the M*A*S*H theme! It’s time to hitch, pull the switch Fool my Robit to thinkin’ I’m legit If I had a Robit, I’d give myself a Chobit With upgradable triple robo-tits And a downgraded memory to an 8-bit Nobody wants a Robit smart enough to bitch With a Robit all holes are custom fit A universal adaptor to work with my joystick! Like eight Hadoukens and a cake A Pop-o-matic Trouble hooked up to a rake A hologram of Jack Bauer that’ll do your taxes Sam L. Jackson (Sam Jackson?) yeah Sam L. Jackson A statue of your mom about to spank you on tank treads Missles of old people high on pain meds Screw the Oreck 8-pound, it’s weightless 2099 easy payments (wait 2099 easy paments?) Yeah, 2099 easy payments!
8.
No I’m not the guy from the Bloodhound Gang No I’m not the guy from the Bloodhound Gang No I’m not the guy from the Bloodhound Gang No I’m not the guy from the Bloodhound Gang What? No I’m not the guy from the Bloodhound Gang You’re so far into fame, you’ll never be the same Spent four years waiting for the album to be released Got ten tracks of nothing, and that’s to say the least You spend all your time in Europe playing sold out shows While your roots are left forgotten, leaving fans to go their own way I’m asleep at the wheel with a delusion of the past No way to make up for this break up, I’m a fan that couldn’t last What? No I’m not the guy from the Bloodhound Gang I wouldn’t be caught dead with that name You guys were great, what happened? Washed up talent, now the magic’s gone away I’m telling you this ‘cause I liked your songs I thought the best, but I was wrong You’re not the same, it’s just a shame, that’s all…
9.
It all started with a brand new Atari that he bought For his son’s 3rd birthday, he thought he’d give it to him One day early the little guy loved it Even though he didn’t understand much of it He was too young to comprehend functions & lights So his dad pushed buttons all night Some of the best times he had just watching A dim light sat by the side of his dad Time went by, the kid grew up The man grew old grew accustomed to things being Rough without his son all he could do is reminisce About a time once lost now gone amiss His friends don’t want to play kids games, they want to play Bridge, the old man needs to act his age But he doesn’t care his heart’s in the right place He took a rain check on now for yesterday All of your thoughts, all of your memories People you loved become sworn enemies Just one look in the mirror… And you look right back in tears… You need to take the outcome, accept the consequence Make a decision, leave the rest of ‘em on the fence Leave your umbrella, let the storm come There’s a chance (you have doubts and you’re second-guessing) There’s a chance (saying and doing are two different things) There’s a chance (it won’t disappear overnight) There’s a chance (you just get lost in thought) There’s a chance (comin’ at you if you’re ready or not) There’s a chance (you can’t save the whole world at once) There’s a chance (it’s not dyin’ if you keep on tryin’) Her older brother came and went… It didn’t seem like much to him… But to a 4-year-old it can seem like a lifetime He would go away for a day just to find her crying She would watch him play video games He said “you’re too young”, she watched anyway So he gave her a handheld, she took it everywhere Took baths with it, it was her teddy bear So when he left that night, he didn’t have the heart to tell her He had to go so her life could be a lot better She never saw him since and felt strange Kept to herself, stuck in the game She didn’t want to figure it out because she wouldn’t have a Reason for her brother to come back and see ‘em So she’s been on the same level for years Even though she’s beat the game, she still saves here Bill Johnson was a 3rd grade music fan from Alabama And when he rocked the gui-tar he was one bad mamma-jama Every time he played the six string kids would say “Bill you’re amazing!” ‘Till one day he bought a Wii and plugged into that benign play thing Guitar hero his brand new addiction, played all day no parental restriction Levels beaten, throwing conniptions and when he missed a note obsession, affliction Moved on to Rock Band and played some more, never really left the living room floor Rockin’ out all day made his fingers sore, played and he played ‘till he turned 24 The punk band he’d formed with friends had shown the local scene some promise But when Bill stopped showing up for practice their fans doubted like St. Thomas Bill said he’d learned the new scales and chords, but proved dishonest His friends warned that they’d kick him out, but Bill blocked out what they admonished Now Bill’s 49 with a 9 to 5, gaming on the weekends to feel alive And the music talent that he once displayed, has faded with the decades and skill betrayed Upstairs in his closet you’ll see a Fender, covered in cobwebs ‘cause no one remembers The rock star dreams that died with the light of the flash of the Wii on those warm southern nights
10.
Find the Top 03:02
Back then it was just an idea that I'd had That I'd make something closely resembling a pad Get a list of everything I need and go to Home Depot© Even though the checkout girl called me nuts, what does she the know? I've got an El Camino full of Snifits... Do you think good help comes cheap these days? They work for frog coins, don't go to the bathroom And it's fun seein' if I can throw a Skittle in their face Oh yeah, put seventeen floors on the ceiling If you're as committed as I am, than it’s the right thing to do Nobody questions a madman in his own commode I've got illusions of grandeur and I'm seein' it through SO keep your shoes on your feet, put your feet on the table... The trick is findin' the table The Winchester Mansion's got nothin' on this place We've got a Wendy's, Racquetball, and cable. “If you can find the top”, that's what I tell 'em They all think I'm insane in the cerebellum Well, how many people have made it to the top? If you can find it, tell me when you find it People cliff dive, watch Desperate Housewives, smoke crack But my tower's what the people point the finger at If you find a tower taller than the Himalayas Let me know if you can find it, tell me when you find it There's an old wise tale people seem to go by People love this story, I don't know why But it goes apparently I needed a wife, I guess I was lonely Grabbed the first one I saw, not my type this one's just boney But I didn't care I took her and bolted At that point her friends revolted A group of Geraldo, a turtle, Stay Puft and Pinocchio Went through my tower like Rush Hour 2 in Tokyo These idiots kicked the crap out of my receptionist Decided to steal my chain chomp for the hell of it They get to the top, and kick my ass? But do you think that I'd really allow that? No! What really happened is the chumps made it only to the third floor No bark, no bite, no war They made it into a game about some giant sword Taking over the blah blah blah yeah whatever it's misleading If you can make it to the top We'll rock this out If you can make it to the top We'll scare the crowd If you can make it to the top We'll mop the floor with 'em If you can make it to the top We'll call some more of ‘em, they don't stand a chance, c’mon!
11.
Life in a new town living with dumb animals Raccoons aren’t cities, and turtles aren’t radical I’ve got the essentials; radio, orange crate Found a leaf on the ground and POOF it turned into An audience, bar, with a mic & amp Killer light show, front row, and a bike ramp Then I realize I’m dreaming so I wake up And do more jobs for the mob, Mr. Tom Nook You animals are giving me a handful of crap to Pass back and forth their neighbors they don’t chat to Even though they stand together like they have to This whole town’s gone SNAFU You’re all like senior citizens with dementia I know, I watch. Then I take a shovel to a rock It’s an endless cycle I suppose I could turn the clock back ten days, then stop!
12.
What If 02:52
You’ve got that sense of entitlement in the sense that I’m fightin’ it, I’ve got a short fuse and you’re lightin’ it Ignitin’ it’s gonna make us play stronger and harder Throw the controller at your face and your face even farther ‘Cause we go to E3, we watch G4 We’ve got a 9 to 5 that we’d probly ignore But if it wasn’t for people like you then we’d probly get bored You say you make a lot of fun of us, well WE MAKE MORE! ‘Cause we don’t mind bein’ called freaks, nerds, dweebs Pushin’ the start button down is like rolling up our sleeves So what if we lose just a couple hit points Just pushing right through all your negative noise Don’t mean to rain on your parade or anything don’t get me wrong But your not gonna last that long Let me put it this way, you’ll be a planet We’ll be Galactus, we’re not gonna have it! So what if we like to do what we do? It’s not like we’re gonna stop anytime soon Pushin’ buttons is fun you should try it sometime You know doin’ what you like’s not considered a crime So what if we like to do what you won’t? Hell, we’re damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t We’re callin’ you out, we’ve got nothing to lose So what if we like to, what if we like to! It’s not addiction, I’m more of a hobbyist A second-rate video game rap lobbyist I don’t care, I throw caution to the wind Even if I end up in the bargain bin It’s a system requirement to help me rock this hard And I know you don’t care keep your hands where they are With a Master Sword and a Screw Attack And a Golden Gun you’ll get lost like Jack Oh hey! Was that you? I think you were missing just a couple of guys there Was your controller unplugged or something? Mashin’ buttons? See if I care! Look it happens to the best of us when you met us You told us you’re the best of the best, you shouldn’t test us A ton of grown men cry, I don’t understand why You thought you’d make it against us Blue key smhlue key I just need a new key To open up the door before somebody shoots me Oh god he’s got an uzi, tell me if I am losing Stupid XBOX Live yeah well you’re mom’s a floozy! I hooked a clapper to a zapper anybody playin’ tapper’s Gonna laugh or die cryin’ when I’m tryin’ to be a rapper Thinkin’ “there’s a happy camper” let the situation damper So I rap a little faster (faster?) faster (no!) faster All you’re doin’s gettin’ madder when I’m takin’ out the hammer Like it’s really gonna matter when I’m climbin’ up the ladder But it’s just a proven factor that you’re not a good attacker In the matter of of the chatter gonna scatter for the master!
13.
Just a Game 02:35
One of a million, shouldn’t I be proud? Like I’m part of the group instead of weighing it down? Just take a number, get in line Just look at myself playing games and then I die In my head I tell myself that I shouldn’t regret this Tell myself that I’m strong and for a long time I meant it Even if I met this head on it’s endless Senseless, it’s like a never-ending Tetris When I get stressed, in the middle of things Fiddle with things, blow up at the littlest things It has nothing to do with video games If anything it helps me get over things So just quit I’m sick with the disrespect Strip me down ‘till there’s nothing left go ahead Cause I’m sick of this, I’m tired of that I wanna push buttons I like the fact that It’s just a phase it’s just a name It’s just a maze from a stupid game It’s just a story, it’s just an escape And they’ve grown up, we should do the same It’s just a waste, it’s just a dream It’s just a made up fantasy It’s just a grand illusion It’ll fade…It’s just a game (How do you sleep at night?)(Why do you need a fight?) It’s just a game (Why do you justify?)(What’s your alibi?) It’s just a game (How do you manage?)(What’s your damage??) It’s just a game (Let me make this clear)(It ends here) You’re just a game Now I shouldn’t feel guilty for trying to be happy Trying to be creative, trying to be loud Now face the wrath of my passion Counteracting with just a sound Now just ‘cause my spirits are going up Doesn’t give you the right to make me as bitter as you You people are too selfish for words but… …but I’ll try a few. ‘Cause it’s not a phase, it’s not a name It’s not a maze from a stupid game It’s not a story, and it’s not an escape You’re not the first, you’re just the same It’s not a waste, it’s not a dream Now listen very carefully It’s done, it stops, you’re through I’m here to stay, it’s not a game! ‘Cause it was magic when I saw the Commodore 64 And Zak McKracken blew my mind and mind you I was just four And these are memories that make me who I am… Cause I’ve got hope and love, and friends and family at the finish And I realized the problem wasn’t me to begin with So you could just try to flaw my existence…

about

This is the first in a series of six "Master Pieces", detailing a vast, color map of a fictional land.

credits

released June 23, 2009

MPFM, Doctor Popular, Baddd Spellah, mc chris, MC Lars, MC Router.

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Cutesylvania Flint, Michigan

Cutesylvania is a one-woman hip-hop act, creating video game and pop culture influenced songs backed by pixelated whimsical melodies.

Releasing albums as pieces of a map to a mysterious island, she brings fun wordplay and a colorful element to her music, inviting every listener to be a part of her adventure.
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